Let her grieve

 

Grief at the loss of a loved one is unbearable, often destructive, takes long to overcome and often leaves one feeling lonely. How we overcome it, varies from person to person; but no matter how we overcome it, the experience changes us, plays a huge part in our evolution process and are testimonies to our individual personalities.

From personal experience I know overcoming grief and the loss of a parent was not easy. It’s been 8 years since my mom passed and even today, I am sometimes overcome with emotion and breakdown. Its not easy. For the first couple of months post her demise, I remember walking kilometers by myself and letting the tears run down my face, just to the rains wash them away.  Mind you, I was 35 years old then!!

Which is why I was so touched by this story in the newspapers this week. This child, just 16 years old; faced her toughest challenge; held on to her self and focused her energies on something that would make her parents proud. Imagine, losing one parent is difficult, which is why losing both parents in a span of days and then channeling that grief into academics to score such brilliant grades is truly commendable. I’m talking about the girl from Bhopal, who lost both her parents to Covid in May 2020 and then went on to appear for her Class 10 CBSE exams and score a remarkable 99.8%.

My heart goes out to the little girl - Vanisha. Yes, she should be congratulated, encouraged and even called an inspiration; but she is a child who has been forced to grow up and become mature in a matter of days. When she says, “when I looked at my younger brother, I suddenly realized I was all he had. At this age, I had become his mother and father. I couldn’t let myself fall apart….”, I broke down. 

I cried for that little girl. I cried for her innocence or the loss of it, for her determination even if it was forced from within, for her grit which she must have done with clammed teeth, for her conviction which pushed her from within, for her maturity way beyond her years and for her poise and dignity in adversity.

Her parents, God Bless their departed Souls, must be proud of her. But her achievement, has put the spotlight on that little girl. From here on the climb is going to steep, her actions are going to be judged, her credentials going to be revisited time and again and her focus going to be shifted because people are going to use her as an inspiration. She will be called for talks, for speeches and for probably ribbon cutting too; without an iota of thought for what she went through and will go through for the rest of her life.

I beseech every one following her story to let her be, let her grow at her own pace, let her live and most importantly to let her mourn in peace.

What we can do is support her (financially with grants, scholarships and such), encourage her (by talking to her), applaud her and let her know that her parents have sent guardian angles to watch over her when she needs it.

Little girl, stay little, enjoy your teen, your youth, laugh out loud, go out with your friends, be your brother’s sister and friend because that is what you are, don’t take the burden of being a parent – let the elders in the family take on that responsibility.

Hugs and love to you; because little girl, you truly deserve it.